October is right around the corner (and you can’t tell me otherwise); as such, it seems an appropriate time to ponder one of the scariest questions known to writer-kind. This question is a kind of bogeyman that haunts young, aspiring authors until they grow up big and strong and finally get to see their work in print (or don’t–and give up their writing in pursuit of other goals). It waits in all the usual places–in the closet, under the bed, in the weird shadows wobbling in the corners of darkened rooms–and whispers doubts into unsuspecting ears, sowing the seeds of weeds that starve hope of its necessary nutrients.

The question we all ask ourselves, at least in the beginning, is this:

“What if I never get published?”

It’s a simple question, but far from simple to answer. You can’t look this one up in the dictionary; this is a puzzle even the great and powerful Google can’t solve for you, not completely. It’s one you have to answer for yourself, and you might have to try on a few wrong answers for size before you find one that truly fits.

I wish I could answer it for you. I wish it was that easy. But I can’t.

I can, however, give you some ideas of how to find the answer for yourself. It starts, whether you like it or not, with asking a different question…

Why Do I Write?

Are you writing just to be published, to see your name on the bestseller list and know book clubs around the world are ordering your novel to read next? Or are you writing because you love writing, or some element of its process?

Neither of these answers is a bad answer; nor are the numerous other possible responses you might give. As with any personal journey, what matters here is what feels right to you. Dig deep and figure out what it is that makes you sit at the keyboard and type, or pull out your notebook and scribble.

Then dig deeper. Find the truth behind the truth. Ask your “why” another “why.” Let’s say you decide you write because you love creating new worlds. Why do you love it? What do you love about it? Keep digging until you hit the core and your shovel breaks and you can’t dig anymore. If you have more than one answer and can’t choose between them, repeat the process for each answer. 

For me, one of my answers to this question looks something like this:

1. I write because I want to inspire people the way my favorite authors inspired me.
2. I want to write and be published because I believe hope and imagination are vital to life, and books are one source of both you can always count on.
3. I want to write and be published because I believe books are sources of hope and imagination because they sustained me through all of my worst days.
4. I write because I want to contribute more hope and imagination to the world.
5. I write because I want to help make the world a better place.

A little cheesy? Maybe. But again, this is a personal journey. No one’s going to know your answers, no matter how sentimental or embarrassing you might think they are, unless you go and do something like publish them in a blog post.

Once you find your answer(s), you’re ready to move on to the next question…

Why Do I Want to Be Published?

Maybe you already know you don’t want to be published. Perhaps you’re one of the rare gems, the Emily Dickinsons of the world who write almost purely for themselves, because it feels good or because it feels better than not writing. Publishing? Bah, humbug. You’re not worried if you never get published because it was never a priority for you anyway. Congrats! You get to go home early.

However, many of us do care, and that makes things a little more complicated for us. For some, it’s the primary reason they write. Others may write for other reasons, but would still really, really like to see their name in print or on a prominent byline. These things are important to take stock of. You also need to pay attention to how you want to be published, and whether you have a specific work you want to publish or genre you want to be published in.
Grab your shovel and start digging a new hole. It’s going to look a lot like the first one, and again, you might need to repeat the exercise more than once if you have more than one reason. But there’s gold at the bottom, I promise. Ready, set—go!

For me, while I don’t write purely for the sake of publishing, getting published is definitely tied directly to the “why” of writing I described above. Inspiring people with my stories, after all, requires me to make those stories publicly available somehow. But I also have another reason I want to be published:

1. I want my work to be published because I love physical books, and I want to see my name on the spine of one.
2. I want my work to be published because I want tangible proof that I am a writer. I want to hold my writing in my hands and know it is real.
3. I want my work to be published because that will make my writing–and my status as an author–real.
4. I want to be published because it will make me feel more real.

Like me, you might find you have some hard truths to admit to yourself. That’s okay. In this case, ignorance is not bliss–the better you understand yourself and your motivations, the readier you will be to finally shed some light on the ultimate question…

What if I Never Get Published? Should I Keep Writing Anyway?

My knee-jerk reaction is to want to answer this question for every single writer out there with a resounding, unqualified “YES.” Keep writing! Don’t give up! Never surrender!

But here’s the thing you and I both have to remember: that’s only my right answer. That might not be the right answer for you. Writing isn’t for everyone, it’s true. But before you decide whether to throw in the towel or pick up that shovel one last time, stop and take a minute to consider the following:

• It is easier than ever to publish your writing, if you can afford to be flexible about how it gets published. You can publish it yourself, right now, informally on a blog or writing website or wherever. Or, you can take a little more time, put in a little more effort, and independently publish it digitally or in print.
• Rejection is not the end of the road. Even if you’ve already tried to get published and failed (as pretty much every author on the planet has–seriously, has anyone ever not been rejected at least once?), you’ve still got options. Try other publishers. There are a million of ‘em these days. Or try writing something new. I know it’s repeated so often it’s become a cliche, but even J.K. Rowling was rejected a ton of times before she became one of the most well-known and beloved authors on the planet. Don’t let “no” be your stop sign. The only person who can stop you from trying is you.

Now, with that in mind, it’s time to go back to those earlier answers you came up with and cross-examine them. This time, ask yourself the following for each “do want” you described:

1. Do I need to be published in order to achieve what I want?
   1. If the answer is no, great! That means you can keep on keeping on and find comfort in the knowledge that even if you’re never published, you’ll still get what you really want out of your writing. 
   2. If the answer is yes, however, that’s okay too. Move on to the next question, which is…
2. What are my publishing options?
   1. Think this one over carefully. You might find that while you always assumed traditional publishing was the only way to go, self-publishing might be just as satisfying. If you find you care only about getting your work out there, and not necessarily how you get it out there, it’s time to do some research and consider your options. You could be published in a matter of minutes, depending on what you want to publish, and how.
   2. Of course, for some, charting an alternate route might not seem like an option. Maybe your dream is to be published by a specific publishing house, or maybe you just really want to see your name on the spine of a book on a Barnes and Noble bookshelf. I get it, I really do. If this is the case, it’s time to sit down, take a beat, and really check in with yourself. Consider why you want this so badly, and whether this one specific path you’ve chosen is really the only acceptable means of reaching the end you’re looking to achieve. You might be surprised to find your options aren’t so limited, after all. Don’t be afraid to chase a dream–but do be open to other opportunities when they present themselves, just in case.

This is all a lot to take in, I know, but at the end of it, you’ll finally have an answer–one way or the other. It might not be the one you were hoping for, but if you’ve been honest with yourself, it will be the right one, the one you needed to know.

But Isn’t Ignorance Bliss?

The point of this exercise isn’t just to decide whether or not publishing your work matters to you. It should also help you figure out a few other things, like whether writing is really your passion or just a hobby, or whether it’s really your writing you need to improve, or your own self-evaluation. And that can go a long way toward deciding important next steps for your work–and your life.

I’ll put myself under the microscope one last time to illustrate my point. In answer to the first question, I said I wanted to write because I want to help make the world a better place. But do I need to publish a book in order to do that? Not necessarily. I can volunteer at an animal shelter, donate money to charity, or commit to performing one random act of kindness a day. All of these are legitimate ways to improve the world that don’t require any writing or publishing. Great!

But what about my second answer–the one where I said “I want to be published because it will make me feel more real”? This one’s a bit harder, partly because it’s such a downer, but also because I have wanted to see a book with my name on a bookstore shelf for longer than I can remember. It’s hard to let go of this one. But the truth is, publishing a book isn’t necessarily the only solution here, or even the best one. What’s really needed, in this case, is some self-love and maybe a bit of cognitive reconditioning. In short, I need to continue to work on believing in myself and my own realness, independent of whether I get published traditionally or not–because the hard fact is, I really might not.

It’s not an easy thing to accept. But it’s easier now than it would otherwise be, because I took the time to dig down deep and figure out why I thought I wanted to be published–and realized that being published was never the answer anyway.

Do I still want to pursue traditional publishing? Yes. But because I know it’s not the only path to getting what I want, I’m willing to explore a little and try other things, too. I’ve already dabbled in other methods of sharing my work, including blogging, self-publishing The Dragon’s Last Flight, and getting The Harbinger’s Head published by Hosted Games, and I’m willing to look into others as I continue moving forward.

By giving myself options, I’m giving myself hope for the future–and hope can banish even the scariest of bogeymen.